User blog:Metaright/The Story of Bloons

___

I walked out of town with a determined look on my face. I was finally fulfilling a childhood dream- hiking up Mt. Magma. Of course, I wasn't there yet; there was still a ways to go. But I was getting there nonetheless.

After a few minutes my limbs were starting to get sore. I was not a fit monkey, but I can last longer than most. After what felt like hours, I collapsed. Holding my paw up to block the sun, I felt something hit me. I sat up to look at it.

Why, it was a giant balloon, almost as big as I was! It floated over my head, as if on a track heading for the city. Getting up to start walking again, I saw a few more following it.

"I wonder what these red balloons are for..." I said to myself. A few seconds later, I heard a boom, as if an explosion had gone off behind me. I looked back and saw smoke rising from the gates of the city. I reached into my backpack and got my binoculars. To my horror, another balloon made an impact to the city gates and exploded. There were no guards on post, and I wondered if I was the only one who knew what was going on.

Another explosion jolted me from my thoughts. I dropped my backpack and ran as fast as I could to the city. Before I knew it, I was at the city gates. Which was not currently the best place to be. Another explosion sent me flying into the wall in a cloud of dust. Before another balloon could hit the wall, I jumped through a whole and ran. Monkeys around the wall were starting to panic.

Within a few minutes I arrived where I wanted to be- the defense headquarters of the entire country. I didn't stop for the secratery or the security guards when they asked me who I was. I burst through the commander's office gaspong for breath.

"What is this, now?" he asked, seeing my intrusion. "Where's the fire, son?"

"Balloons...explosions...city gates...panic!" I collapsed.

"What the lilly-livered DEVIL are you on about, soldier?" he asked as he walked up to me and hauled me up by my exhausted arm.

"There...are giant...ballons hitting the...city gates...causing...explosions!" I gasped.

"What? We need to stop them until we get our bearings! I'll stay here and order the official doodads; you...ah!" He had an idea. "You gather a bunch of your little...monkey acquaintances and use the darts from last weeks dart competition!" He walked out the door and came back with several buckets of darts.

"But what do we do with these?" I asked, struggling to hold thebuckets.

He looked back at me. "Pop the balloons, son!" He ran down teh hallway, his voice echoing; "Pop the balloons!..."

___

"NOW!"

I had assembled a small group of monkeys and we were hurling darts at the balloons. Oddly, they didn't explide when we popped them. They seemd to come on a path and in waves, so we stationed ourselves around them and did our best to stop them. Soon, no more balloons seemed to be coming.

"What do we do with the rubber?" a monkey asked, picking up the rubber remains of a balloon.

"We can't just leave them here," I said. "Let's bring them with us."

We made our way back to the defense headquarters. The secratary and the security guards didn't bother us. The commander wasn't in his office. I heard a shout from the planning hall, so we went in there.

"Professor, I have no idea what you're saying!" the commander said. On a screen behind him was an overhead view of the path the balloons had taken.

"I thaid," the rather aged monkey replied, "that these wubbewy menathes need to be thtopped! And why would thomeone thend ekthplothive buhlloonth at uth?" It was hard to understand him.

I piped in. "Uh, commander? We brought back the remains of those...those..."

"Buhlloonth!" the professor cried. He slammed his head onto the table; obviously living with a speech impediment was worse than listening to it.

"Right, these...bloons." I said, repeating what I had heard.

"Great!" the commander said. "We can use those for testing! Charles, how much are these worth to the reasearchers?"

An intelligent-looking monkey put something into a calculator. "The red ones are worth about one ***, and those blue ones two."

"Outstanding! We can use the money from these remains to pay for more defenses."

"More defenses?" I asked. "There are more bloons coming?"

The commander tilted his head toward the window. "Aye. Now, you monkeys, just drop those bloons anywhere. Chalres, take them to the city gates and give them all of our latest military equipment- those tack-shooter bots, the missle launchers, the military aeronautics, the whole shebang."

I started to leave with them, but the commander put his hand on my shoulder. "Whoa, there soldier; I've got a special assignment for you."

___

"Are...are you sure this is safe?" I asked.

"Of course! We press this button, the elevator lifts you up into the sky, and you pop all the bloons up there!"

"But why are they in the sky? And why me?"

"We don't know. Whoever is sending these weapons of rubbery destruction has some plan going. An we need you here because our top military agent is dealing with the bloons elswhere."

He was about to puch the button, but then hesitated. "Just be glad you're not him- he has to go into space."

"The bloons are in spaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!" I didn't get to finish before my bucket of darts and I were sent up into the sky.

The great series of battles that followed, between bloon and monkey, inanimate and animate, explosive and usually not explosive, can only be described as the Great Bloon War.